Im a Mother

 My Baby girl was born 11:18 Am Monday Morning Chof Adar. We named her Bubbe Rochel Chana. Bubbe was my husbands great grandmother. Rochel Chana is after my mother. 

A few weeks ago I wrote something that I wanted to post after she has been born. So here it is. 

I look at my room and know that soon there will be a real baby with me. I feel afraid and sad. 

How will I be a mother? 

How can I have someone so purely trust and rely on me when I am but a human? A human with flaws and problems and limitations. A mother who lost her own mother. 

Perhaps because being a mother is above human limitations. Being a mother is the mostly G-dly thing a woman can possible do. Being a partner in creating life and sustaining it. Perhaps this is the true reliance and trust that a baby feels for its mother. Hashem grants a peice of his infinity to mothers. The power that a mother has to do the impossible. 

At some point children realize their parents aren’t perfect. No I’m not perfect. But I have the ability and strength because it’s not my own. It’s a peice of infinity. 

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